Filmmaking is not singing. It's not American Idol. The factor which so often sets filmmaking apart (unfortunately) as an "art" and the factor which so often gums up the works is its very strong dependence of high technical acumen. While singing requires a great deal of technical ability-- pitch control, timing, etc., it's conventional wisdom that the natural ability of the artist (vocal tone, strength, innate rhythmic syncronicity) is more important-- the technical can be taught.

Filmmaking, though, cannot be quantified in the same way as other solo artistic endeavors because it's not a solo effort. Yes, there are directors who "own" a film. We all know and love them. But those are the exceptions-- and they're nearly always the result of innate talent in at least one of the core filmmaking areas. So how should we judge a "filmmaker?" The easy answer is to judge a director on his/her technical ability and on their stewardship of the final product, which he/she probably had very little direct influence on.

All this is to explain why reality shows like "On The Lot" and "Project Greenlight" can't succeed. And PG has proven to us THREE TIMES that this is absolutely true.

I could go on and on about this, but I have homework to get done so I'll continue on to why I wrote this meandering prologue in the first place--

I recently screened the film "Waitress." After seeing it, I wanted to write a really long, scathing review. But I realized that that would be missing the point. The larger issue is that "Waitress" perfectly exemplifies (like "Project Greenlight") why some people should be told, in unambiguous Simon Cowell-ish terms that they should find another job.

All of the press on "Waitress" is truly remarkable because nearly every article about it treats it with kid gloves. If you weren't aware, the filmmaker/writer/co-star was brutally murdered in her NYC apartment last November before the film came out. It was her labor of love-- lots of your typical struggle to get it financed, made and shown. She finally succeeded but was tragically killed before she could reap the rewards.

My question is: Had she not died, would the reviewers and the rest of us view this film in the same way? I can almost certainly say the answer to that is No.

The reason films like this don't get made is because they shouldn't be made. The script is a mess, the acting abysmal. I'm a firm believer that the cream will always rise to the top. A person who is truely talented and who acts with determination and unceasing drive will always succeed. It's never easy, but neither is it impossible. By that logic, when I see someone floudering for years, with sob stories galore about their Sacrafices and how they just can't get a break-- my first thought is always "I bet there's a good reason for that."

I know, I know. I'm awful. But I'm right.

I don't want to begrudge anyone who liked "Waitress." Everyone has something that they like that, we can all agree, is sloppy and ididotic. Further, we can also debate a film's more quantifiable aspects. There are plenty of films that I hate that I have to admit were solidly made.

But, as I see it, from a strictly technical standpoint, that film is complete and utter bullshit. It just so happens that from my strictly subjective, personal standpoint it's also bullshit.

Adrienne Shelly, while a tragic story and an individual with no loss of determination and drive, is, in my opinion, nonetheless a bad filmmaker. And I'm annoyed that mainstream reviewers can't admit that because the evidence is clear and stark on the screen.

And to digress again and lend further evidence as to why most of my cinema finals were "unfocused" and "off-point":

Keri Russell is weird. Creepy-weird. Yes, I guess I have to agree she's beautiful. But at the same time, I find her strangely repulsive. It might be the bad acting, but I honestly felt while watching the film as I do every time I see her on TV or in a magazine-- bitch ain't got no soul! She has the most lifeless eyes I've ever seen. She exudes no emotion that I can relate to. In one disturbing montage, she walks around with this horrific grin plastered on her face. It's meant to be cute, but to me, I felt like I was looking at some malevolent baby doll version of the grim reaper. Eesh!